May/2005

Ok, some dude on Craigslist is selling Pixies tickets to the sold out show this Friday for $35 apiece. * yOink *

I think I may cry with joy.

COFFEE MAKER BROKEN AAAIIEEE

Biz Markie is to the music industry as Kevin Bacon is to film.

Discuss.

I apparently have some sort of (what other people think is) facinating medical condition with my knee joints. At least, every time this happens and I try and explain it, no one can relate, so I guess I'm the only person afflicted with this in the known universe.

If I'm sitting in a swivel chair, with my feet firmly planted on the ground, and rotate to the left or right without moving my feet - my knee joint becomes unhinged from my lower leg. Twisting to the left does this to my right leg, and twisting to the right to my left leg. It doesn't happen very often, but when it does, it brings along a sensation of instant and excruciating pain - and the only way I can "re-hinge" everything back together is to KICK my leg out straight and fast. This kicking usually happens without any concious thought of my own, it's just a reflex to get my legs put back together.

It used to happen more frequently, sometimes just the way my legs were relaxed - the weight of my own leg would cause it to happen. That doesn't happen so much now, as I just kind of subconciously sit so it won't.

Anyway. This has been a "real" problem three times in my life - today being the third.

1st time: English final, high school 1992, 10th grade. Right leg pops out of joint during final. I scream and kick leg, causing chair/desk one piece to hop up and down. Real cool looking, I'm sure.

2nd time: Lunch with workmates at ISP, 1999. Popped out of joint while eating some panang curry - legs instinctively kicks - into the shin of friend sitting across from me. I apologize profusely and tell him I really didn't mean to "do that." He tries not to cry. Things are awkward for some time to come.

3rd time: 20 minutes ago Swiveled chair to the left. Right knee slips. I kick. Nothing happens. Kick kick kick kick fall to floor kick kick kick AAAHhhHhhhhh fixed. As I fell to the floor, my hand smashed through a sentimentally valuable neon sign that I have been meaning to hang up for awhile. Utterly destroyed. All that glass breakage and kicking took place within about 5 seconds or so. Now my leg is killing me, my hand is bleeding, my priceless (to me) neon sign is forever gone, and I have a bunch of shit to cleanup.

Today can suck it.

Never purchase a doll for your kid that frightens you every time you look at it. I want to burn this thing.