REASONS TO THINK THE MOVIE YOU'RE GOING TO SEE (OR SEEING) IS BAD
1. The ticket seller lets out a laugh as you walk away.
2. They hand out complimentary guns and razor blades when you walk in.
3. You walk in to see the movie and the theater is empty.
4. Friends you know who saw the movie have been missing for weeks.
5. Siskel & Ebert gave the movie two thumbs WAY up, but they wouldn't say up what.
6. People from the previous showing are being taken away by paramedics.
7. The one theater that decided to show it has been fire-bombed too many times to keep track of.
8. Most of the newspaper reviews are a single, 4 letter word.
9. All of the main actors and actresses committed suicide right after its release.
10. Half way through the movie, you can't make out the screen because of all the milk duds stuck to it.
11. As you watch, other movie go-ers start spontaneously throwing up.
12. At the premiere showing, the main attendance was from the theater staff and a few people who went into the wrong theater.
13. It's a sequel.
14. Even if it isn't a horror film, it's called "frightening".
15. Before the movie starts, Mr. Movie flips you off.
16. The THX sound has been replaced by a Monkey's song.
17. Your ticket was taken by someone wearing a bio suit.
18. The sound is up so high that you can feel your earwax move.
19. A S.W.A.T. team is situated outside the theater.
20. The movie has been created by the N.R.S.T. Drama club.
21. Anybody that is over your parents age is naked in it.
22. You overhear someone walking out of the previous showing saying "God those Olsen twins crack me up!"
23. The words "Chess", "Ernest", or "Batgirl" are words in the movie title.
24. You turn to kiss your date and he/she barfs in your face.
25. When there are more people in line for the bathroom than the movie.