1. Warning:  Do not consume (on food products).
2. Do not breathe around, near, or on this product.
3. May combust at random times.
4. New Ziploc brand diapers:  Yellow and blue make green.
5. ½ cost!  Steel wool revolutionary manufacturing process (on eye drops, deodorant, soap, etc.).
6. Triple bio-hazard!  Warning! Not even this specialized container may be capable of containing leakage.
7. On food products:  Do not expose to air.
8. On food product: Do not moisten.
9. On food product: Do not take while conscious.
10. On food product: Do not take orally.
11. On oatmeal: Made in Mexico; may contain on e or more live cultures.
12. New pregnancy pain killers (Surgeon General's warning:  Do not take while pregnant.  May cause fetal mutation.)
13. Oh food product: Refrigerate immediately or burn within 30 minutes of exposure to oxygen.
14. <NEW> Celluloid ½% milk!  Tastes as good as 4% <NEW>
15. Sugar-free cereal:  (Those crystals that appear to be sugar are actually salt crystals)